What is Codependency?
If you would prefer to listen to similar information rather than read it, you can listen to episode 100 from January 6, 2020 of The Soul Amplified Podcast here.
Codependency has many faces and definitions.
The one I use most frequently is this:
“Codependency is the need to serve others at the expense of yourself to fill a deeper need to be loved, accepted and liked.”
Other terms you may have heard are—people pleasing, enabling, being a super helper, ‘saving’ others or having ‘projects’ in people, being a ‘yes’ woman, neglecting your own needs or wants, frequently feeling like you ‘should’ do this or that. You may feel a need to control others, to save them, or find yourself acting like a victim. The result is giving up what you want, ignoring your needs, being unaware of your own needs, or you may tell yourself they are less important than other’s needs.
Codependency is not something you are born with, rather conditioning from childhood experiences. It is a coping mechanism that has helped you survive, even thrive, in an environment that was missing something.
You are more likely to be codependent if you were raised by people who had the following behaviors: alcoholism, addiction (drugs, sex, gambling, etc), unmanaged mental health/health issues, or not processing their emotions. This means that sometimes you, as the kid, had to learn to cope and deal with a shit ton of emotions that you were unequipped to manage.